Canadian Policy Humour
New Democratic Party
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Short Stories Humour
*Fact…(I think), 1961 was the year that the NDP was born and went into diapers…and stayed there. I do admit that cloth diapers are Eco-friendly, but they are a tough job to change, just like the word “New”. At least the diaper was new back then…a change is nice, more than once too!
Ok, Ok, I was a little rough perhaps on the NDP’s, but I would be nice if they could bust into a stride that would help to put them in-line with most Canadians. I do know how important the 27 people that somehow got themselves 37 seats in the House of Commons are…now that is a head-scratcher even for me.
The first policy up is:
1.1 Industrial policy: Supporting Business Sectors. [In other words, We love Big, Big Business Tycoons, like hospitals, homeless shelters, and food banks.] (My interpretation and upgrades will be in brackets so that there is no confusion with the comical side and the very serious policies that we all loath so much…I meant love so much.)
Now onto the very point of the NDP’s Strategic Industrial Policy:
1. “Investing in job creation.” [In short, this means raise the taxes so high that we all lose our jobs as businesses fail or move away, so that the NDP can spend more tax dollars on creating a new job for you and me at the NDP’s big “party” in the hospitals, homeless shelters, and the food bank sectors] “by developing green economy.” [I really think Canada is one of the greenest places on earth in the summer, but in the winter it is one of the whitest snow-covered places known to man. This “green economy” will go a long way in getting the global warming speeded up, so that we Canadians can all have summer, all year round for a change…I’m for that, but I hear that I will need a boot!… I hope there is a boot at the party] “with appropriate support for transition programs” [costly public free hospitals, homeless shelters, and food banks sectors] “and for research and development.” [ Hospitals… bla, bla, bla, you get the point.]
My take of what this all really means for all Canadians from all parts of Canada is that the supporting of industry does not include jobs and businesses that make money which can pay lots of taxes for the government coffee…I meant coffers, (but I do admit that the fresh, morning-picked beans that were flown over from a Columbian coffee bean field do taste great - even a no-brained Canadian commoner like myself knows that.) Now the jobs, the mining, the oilsands, and all the other occupations in the private sectors have to go, according to the negative ad campaigns of the NDP‘s 2011 ads. High taxes should do the trick and kill all those evil jobs. But at least for the Canadians that are left, we can all eat, sleep, and raise our families in good health at our places of work - in the hospitals, homeless shelters, and the food bank sectors.
New Democratic Party’s Secret Platform : Review 1.1 Canada
*This was on the NDP’s website before they took it down and I can understand way.* Having only 37 seats in the House of Commons is because (to the best of my understanding) of all of my chirping reviews of their secret party’s policy platforms.
New Democrats Party believes in: that brand name “New.” The 1961 Beetle car comes to mind when I think of their name…kind of on the rusty side, sort of like the NDP’s color scheme.
Now I am to believe the NDP has been as new as it will ever get, but if “New” means a 61’ gas guzzling muscle car…then bring it on! Just a thought though, maybe they should drop the term “new” sometime in the next 50 years, eh? Or jack the steroid tar out of the policy’s muscles.
