Clean Hockey Humour
Unique hockey funny short story here at butfunny.com, but them again that is just me yapping toothless gumms.
© Copying 2009-2010 All Rights Reserved Content & Photos. Nakia Mast www.butfunny.com Pricacy Policy
Short Stories Humour
This puck bears down on them at painful 100 MPH speeds and smashes into every part of the goalie’s body… their head, arms, legs, and the unmatchable family treasures of the manly body. Goalies are the dodo bird of the hockey net. This net is 6 feet wide and 4 feet high. I took a puck in my facemask once when I was a kid, and it made a dent in the steel cage,…now if that had been my face...my teeth would not have looked right at all today.
There is also the handy fighter on a hockey team. You do not need to know how to skate or how to block puck shots with your body, to be a hockey fighter. All you have to do and know how to do, is to punch the other team’s players in the head with your bare knuckles. This opposing player more than likely said something about someone’s mother, or put a hockey stick wickedly through a team-mate’s helmet. It does help a lot if you are one of the 250 lb hockey goons to lay the blows in this hand-to-hand, duke’em fighting, and likewise possessing only a lick of brains helps when being on the receiving end of the bloody blows.
Due to the invasion of the internet, most everyone around knows today that all great hockey players come from the province of Saskatchewan, Canada and great goal tenders come from the province of Québec more or less. For the goalie it is the hockey style that is known as the “butterfly” that has spread all over the hockey world that has made them great. The style is renowned for its low body movements across the lower half of the net which gets the head of the goalie that much closer to the ice surface to stop even more shots. Most of the hard shots in the game tend to hug the surface of the ice, so it makes sense (only to hockey goalie of course) to put most of their body on the ice in an attempt to block even more of the hard shots with their body.
The best part of being a NHL goalie is, of course, all the millions of dollars made by stopping hard 6 ounce rubber bullets...did I mention that the hockey puck also becomes frozen solid at subzero temperatures? This is why goalies are known for their heads of steel… I meant to say nerves of steel. These nerves of steel also help in getting them a mega year contract which furnishes them with millions of dollars that can indeed buy them a pretty puppet girlfriend, except if they already have a wife who loves their hubby’s hard head just the way it is. With all hockey player though is that they are vary tuff and rich.
Hockey NHL Goalies Funny Humour
Funny Goalies in the NHL hockey and the reporters reporting on them are down right humorous, if you ask me. One would think these reporters were the goalies’ agents who get 5 % of the their wage which, by the way, exceeds that of a small empire. How is it that, these hockey reporters think if an average goalie on a great team is "standing on his head" because he is so good, yet only has to stop 4 shots of any worth in a 60 minute game, then let me be a hockey goalie. And I might add that the reporter can even have 6% of my wage if they make me look good.
The National Hockey League is the hockey league that is the best of hockey, worldwide. You need to be at least 18 years of age and the best at goal scoring to be on the team. Now, you have to be a bit loony to be a goalie stopping the 6 ounce rubber bullet known as the puck.
