Real mean like, I‘ll bark out, “Pardon me, what did you say?” even though I heard the young man just fine. After he repeats himself, I will calmly reply, “Of course! I am starving for popcorn and lots of candy. You know, I really like a large root beer with a movie. Just a minute while I get my coat and my amateur-gold-gloves- boxing ring, I got for being state champ in college.”
Other good one-line questions I plan to ask are a as follows:
“Young man, do you have a job?” “No? Oh, you must be a blossoming entrepreneur and running your own business from your bedroom on the side.” “What? No!” “Well then, you must be a missionary to a third world impoverished country.” “No?” “Then I think you got the wrong house.”
Another question would include, “Do you have a grave stone?” When they answer, “No,” with their lips quivering, I will respond, “You will need one, if you try to kiss my daughter.”
All of this, of course, is not just limited to the young men that come to my door. Hey, I was almost kissed by a girl when I was in grade four. If it had not been for those fast legs of mine and two cents of wits, I would have fallen prey to the kiss of a girl, with some good luck, she closed her eyes and tried to lay that kiss on me, and I ran like the wind.
The next line of questioning would be, “So how many head of cattle do you have?” If they reply with a bit of shock, “I have none.” “None?” I will repeat. “Well for your info, Sonny boy, I had 5 head of cattle by the time I was 16 years old and you say, you have none? You sure have some work to do. This isn’t starting out so good for you, is it?”
I am also fully aware that my sons need to be gentlemen from the get-go to and treat a lady right by throwing their good coat over the mud puddle lays in front of there young lady. There isn’t going to be a shorthand from me, on them when it comes to treating a lady right. By Nakia Mast
© Copying 2009-2011 All Rights Reserved Content & Photos. Nakia Mast www.butfunny.com
I was thinking this morning about the joys of having all my kids. Good thing they are not at the dating age yet, but I am getting ready for that moment when the sweaty handed boy comes creeping around to my front door.
So here is my quick list of responses I am preparing for that young man that finds himself at my door in the near future, asking my permission to take out one of my beautiful daughters.
He‘ll first pop the big question, “Hello, um… Mr. Silver, may I take your daughter to a movie tonight?”
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For Speed Dating...Add a Kiss and Then You run fast or Get Slapped Hard!
Just like my first date, just before she punched me in the eye... just don't try to kiss on the first date and I think you should be fine, life is not like the movies you know!
