The Clean butfunny.com This is my first time to do a short stories book that I hope you like and find funny. Nakia Mast
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It was real hard to tell if the foaming mouth was from rabies or not while my flesh was being removed, you know.
I would pick up the few things for the elderly lady at the store because she said she was really, really old and didn’t get out much because she couldn’t get around well with that cane and all. I do agree that she was old and maybe couldn’t walk well, but she sure could run from a dog, even that dog, Max, just next door real well. She could even pole-vault fences with her cane if Max got too close. This is something you can only learn from the experience that comes with age.
I am pretty sure she didn’t make much more headway with the neighbour about closing his blinds than what I did, either. After that experience, she did not trust my memory. She said, “You convinced me to go and ask him to close his blinds,” she went on, “and you said that everybody loves to help older ladies.” I really did try to tell her that and I really did forget about the pit-bull dog in the yard, because I was so focused on remembering her list of things to do at the store and to return the change this time.”
For the record, I would never laugh at another’s harm; I was really only laughing at the pole-vaulting scene, but not at her personally. I tried to reason with her by telling her that I was laughing with her and not really at her. “Well, I am not laughing. Anyways do you have my groceries and envelope, by the way?” she asked with a snarl that I swear was worse than our new-found doggie friend, Max. “Well…,” I began, “before I could get to the store, I had a slight problem with the envelope again. There was this mean dog…”
It is a joy to be free from all that fine adventure, traffic, noise and pit-bulls crapping on my backyard lawn, (which by springtime after the snow had melted, revealed that these plops could not possibly have been from a dog at all, but indeed from a escaped, frightened, Holstein dairy cow). This is why I sure do like the country-fresh air. The gardening is also good in the country, as opposed to planting seeds in the concrete. There are a hundred different things to do and to love about the country life. With all good things though, there are the unpleasant things too, of course.
Things that can be a little unpleasant at times, like a plugged septic tank pump. One could pay someone to fix it, but these repair persons have a way of charging you some insane price. You end up having to sell one of your own kidneys to pay their fee, and these surprises are not all that kind to one’s blood pressure level either.
Now if you don’t mind getting your hands a wee bit dirty, it would only cost you about forty bucks at the hardware store to purchase the delinquent part that went a-wall. Add a little self-taught experience and you will have just saved yourself a small bundle. Just remember to release the pressure out of the sewer line first before popping that cover off that has all them bolts on it, and remember to keep your face more than two inches from the cover. Having your tongue in your mouth, when that cover come off is also a very good idea. That stuff tastes just awful when it comes flying out of there, but those are the drawbacks of county living and saving a buck.
Clean, but funny Short Stories Book from My Life as a youth and kid at heart that will make you Laugh. This story is Called The Poo Tank
Chapter 2 September 2011
Funny Page 2
"The Poo Tanks"?
The flimsy envelope, as you can imagine, could not hold the change for long and the coins would be falling out all over the place before I could even get to the store - even if I was not using the envelope as a defence weapon by trying to cram it down the throat of a raving-mad beast which was foaming and slobbering at the mouth, as I myself was being terrified and panicky.
Humour Short Stories
